His love is safe, secure and you can always count on it. This is the ultimate altruism ( Romans 5:8 John 3:16 John 15:13). God indeed has loved all of us unconditionally.Įven though we were rebellious, living a sinful life, and ignoring His law and love, He sent His Only Begotten Son to die for us. This should begin to help you understand the unconditional love of God a bit more and help to reconcile some of the biblical data that could perhaps otherwise be confusing. Unconditional love is not, then, a free-for-all. Expressing unconditional love doesn’t somehow remove those boundaries, as they are in place to preserve the dignity of both people in the relationship. There must be clearly defined boundaries of respect, ethics, and morality in any truly healthy relationship. It is the same in any would-be romantic relationship. Remember when we mentioned the parent-child relationship? That relationship is defined, in part, by healthy boundaries. The abusive partner is expressing only selfish desires, with little to no concern for their spouse. If someone finds themselves suffering in a relationship with a serial adulterer, a physical or emotionally abusive spouse, etc., they’re clearly not in a reciprocal relationship. Unconditional love, if it is to be effective in our lives, must be reciprocated. They have allowed their own desire to love another unconditionally to be used as a weapon against them. there evil is not.”įor example, many find themselves trapped in unhealthy, abusive relationships, thinking that they have to accept their partner as they are, no matter what. Where there are two together, there also He is present, and where He is…. Hearing and seeing this, Christ rejoices. They have no secrets from one another, they never shun each other’s company they never bring sorrow to each other’s hearts… Psalms and hymns they sing to one another. Side by side they face difficulties and persecution, share their consolations. They pray together, they worship together, they fast together instructing one another, encouraging one another, strengthening one another. They are in very truth, two in one flesh and where there is but one flesh there is also but one spirit. Nothing divides them, either in flesh or in Spirit. They are as brother and sister, both servants of the same Master. “How beautiful, then, the marriage of two Christians, two who are one in hope, one in desire, one in the way of life they follow, one in the religion they practice. Church Father Tertullian wrote of this sort of marriage, If the marriage is healthy, unconditional love moves the spouses to forgive each other and help one another overcome ingrained habits and difficult behavioral patterns. Sometimes it is disagreements and bad habits or behaviors that really irritate us. Marriage isn’t always romance and smiles. Husbands and wives understand this very well ( 1 Corinthians 13:4-8). Unconditional love forgives our errors, and even our downright nasty attitudes at times. The third characteristic of unconditional love is that of operative mercy and grace. Even punishments are designed to reinforce the need to conform to the highest standards for ourselves, even if it doesn’t feel so altruistic in the moment. If they get bad grades, they know their mom and dad will be upset, but they’re only upset because they want their children to do their best, and to reap the benefits of diligent study and hard work. Children in a healthy, stable home instinctively know their parents are a safe harbor. A good example of this is the parent-child relationship. When the beloved knows that their lover seeks their highest good, even when they stand to gain absolutely nothing by it, they begin to feel safe and secure in that relationship. This brings us to the second characteristic of unconditional love. It is selfless, doing whatever is necessary (and sometimes going above and beyond that) to support, comfort, and generally benefit the beloved. Sometimes there is personal benefit in it, but more often, that isn’t the case. It seeks the highest good of the beloved, even if that highest good is at some cost to the lover. The best way to define unconditional love is by examining its character. What is unconditional love? What Is Unconditional Love? Christians believe that God loved us unconditionally, but few can really define it. Everyone wants to be loved, and we all hope that those who love us do so unconditionally.
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